Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
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In life when u face choices..just toss a coin..not coz it settles da questions bt.. While da coin is in air you will know wht ur heart realy desires for
Most of the problems in life comes because of two reasons..
First..we act without thinking..
Second..we keep thinking without acting
Never reject anybody in your life..good person gives us happiness and bad person gives us experience..both are essential for life..
Everyone in your life is going to hurt you.. Sooner or later .. But you have to decide..what more important? The pain or the person
If someone waits 4 u it doesnt mean that they have nothing else to do..it just means that nothing else is more important than u
We can always loose something for someone..but we should not loose someone for something becouse 'life can return that something but not that someone'
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The same complaints from the same people about how tired they are, how stressed they are etc. with no solution in sight! The key is to correct the situation versus standing idle and accepting it.
Forget about the energy drinks or pills. Learn to increase your energy naturally, and have a healthy steady supply to get you through each day. By adjusting your personal eating, sleeping and exercise habits, you can boost your energy the natural way and settle into a self-sustaining rhythm.
Essential Water – Keep your body hydrated throughout the day. The first sign of dehydration is fatigue. Your body can’t function at capacity without that good old H2O. A steady supply of water will naturally keep things flowing–including your energy.
Improve Sleeping Habits – Often a small adjustment of your sleeping habits can already do wonders for your energy levels.
* Lying in bed is not sleeping: Don’t go to bed if your not sleepy and end up lying in bed pondering and stressing. If you are drifting off at the computer, while reading, or watching TV, it’s time to get to bed. Your bedtime should and will vary from night to night. Let your body tell you when to sleep as opposed to the following the 8-hour rule.
* Rise and Shine: Put an alarm and get up at the same time everyday.
* Sleepy at Noon?: Try a powernap of 20 minutes in a quiet place.
Experiment and find out what your optimal sleep levels are.
Yoga, Exercising & Stretching – It sounds counter-intuitive, perhaps, but by expending energy on a regular basis, you will actually give yourself more of it in the end. The key is to set up a fairly regular schedule–about three times a week–and push to the point that you feel refreshed, not exhausted. Don’t overdo it. It may take a couple of weeks to get into the natural rhythm, so have patience and higher energy levels will follow.
Deep breathing exercise – Another great way to re-energize your body is with a quick deep breathing exercise. Sit on a chair with a straight back and breathe deeply while you focus on your breath going in – going out. At the same time use a powerful affirmation to invigorate your mind and body.
Eliminate Energy-Sappers From Your Diet – Have more alkaline-forming foods like fruits and vegetables. Avoid excess sugar and coffee as they lead to lower blood sugar levels–and less energy–after they give you an initial kick. Also one could pack some almonds and nuts for a quick and convenient protein snack.
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1.
Girl: The doctor was very bad.
Boy: Why?
Girl: He gave me injection in a weird place.
The boy was very angry.
Boy: Huh! Doctors are becoming very bad now a days. How could he touch you in weird places!
Girl: Do you want to see where?
The Boy replied happily: Ya ofcourse!
Girl: In that Hospital.
2.
Mrs. Sikdar: I am pregnant.
Mrs. Anita: Wow! Thats a very good news. But why are you looking so sad?
Mrs. Sikdar: About my husband.
Mrs. Anita: O dear! What happened?
Mrs. Sikdar: He is the worst husband ever.
Mrs. Anita: Thats why I say, never marry an widower. What did he do to you?
Mrs. Sikdar: He told me that he did his vasectomy before our marriage.
3.
A girl went to a tattoo house to make a tattoo in her legs. Look at the conversation between the tattoo maker and the girl.
Girl: I wana make a tattoo in my leg. Can I?
Tattoo maker: Surely, be seated here and higher you skirt a bit, I am doing it for you.
After sometime,
Tattoo maker: Mam, please higher your skirt a bit.
Girl: Ok
Again after sometime,
Tattoo maker: Mam, please higher your skirt a bit.
Girl: What the hell is wrong with you! What are you drawing?
Tattoo maker: A giraffe!
4.
Beggar: Sir please give me 20taka. God will bestow His blessings on you.
Passerby: Why are you asking for 20taka. Its too much! I will give you not more than 10taka.
Beggar: Please sir, for the sake of my girlfriend.
Passerby: Huh! You are a beggar and still you have managed to make a girlfriend.
Beggar: Nop sir, she has managed to make me a beggar!
5.
A man went to buy some eggs. He was standing infront of shop but there was no one in the shop. So, he was shouting.
Man: Hey whose eggs are these?
Shopkeeper came very quickly.
Shopkeeper: Yes sir, these are my eggs.
Man: O sorry then, I came here to buy hen eggs!
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Everyone wants whiten teeth but due to yellow teeth people lose the confidence and avoid to smile. Here are some useful tips to get white teeth and bright smile.
Home Remedy Tooth Whitening
1- Brush your teeth with salt; put the salt on the toothbrush instead of regular toothpaste.
2- Mix baking soda into your regular toothpaste and brush your teeth with this mixture. You should see results within weeks.
3- Use lemon juice to brush your teeth.
4- Hydrogen peroxide is an effective chemical used to whiten teeth.
5- Brushing your teeth daily for one minute will give quick results.
6- Take some foil and fold it to form to your teeth. Take a little toothpaste and baking soda and mix together really well. Put some of the mixture into the foil and place on your teeth. Leave on for one-hour everyday.
7- Strawberries contain malic acid, which acts as a whitening agent by dissolving surface stains.
Make a paste by crushing one strawberry in a small bowl and mix with 1/2 teaspoon baking soda. Spread on teeth and leave for 5 minutes. Brush with toothpaste immediately after.
8- Brush teeth normally afterwards. You will notice whiter teeth in just a few days.
9- Some foods like apples, celery or carrots contribute to the removal of deposits on the teeth because they increase saliva.
10- Tea, coffee, red wine, all red fruits: blueberry, cherry, blackberry … alter the brightness and color of your teeth. To prevent stains settle down, brush your teeth or drink water immediately after.
Have a beautiful smile.
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By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into the sixth day working
Overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much
Time on this one?"
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not elastic; have 200 movable
Parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap
That can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she
Stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a
Broken heart; and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs
Of hands! No way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's
The three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
"And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see
Through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing
Even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head
Are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can.
And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for
Looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves
Him or her without even saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord "This is too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this
Creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself
When she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger
And can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her
So soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You
Have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be
Able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the
woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like You have a leak with this model. I
Told You that You were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak." the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow,
Her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her
Pride."
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of
Everything for this one. You even created the tear!"
The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you are
Wrong again. I created the woman, but she created the tear!"
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A surgeon went to check on his very blonde patient after an operation.
She was awake, so he examined her thoroughly and told her that she could expect a complete recovery.
She asked him, "How long will it be before I can resume a normal sex life again, Doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
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Beware of time and calculate the expense for your time
live your life and consider it as a strange in your eyes
Save the shrine of who loves you if you miss
The greatest misfortune is disgracing who loves you
Not all people can be friends
Beware of who hides poison in the tusks
Laughing in front of your face and then will throw you in calamities
You are young and age did not grow up
If something is gone tomorrow you'll find
Be patient if you are wounded tomorrow you'll be recovered
Pass strange things in your life and here you are still alive
Happy with my life..
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1. Pursue Achievable Goals
2. Keep Genuine Smiles
3. Share with Others
4. Help Thy Neighbors
5.Maintain a Youthful Spirit
6. Get Along with the Rich, the Poor, the Beautiful, &the Ugly
7. Keep Cool Under Pressure
8 . Lighten the Atmosphere with Humor
9. Forgive the Annoyance of Others
10. Have a Few Pals
11. Cooperate and Reap Greater Rewards
12. Treasure Every Moment with Your Love Ones
13. Have High Confidence in Yourself
14. Respect the Disadvantaged
15. Indulge Yourself Occasionally
16. Surf the Net at Leisure
17. Take Calculated Risks
18. Understand "Money Isn't Everything"
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1. Respect: Respect your parents , your teachers and your elders.
*
2. Love: Love your country , your culture and your ancestors.
*
3. Service: Serve the poor , the illiterate and the diseased.
*
4. Self-Discipline: Discipline your body , your senses and your mind.
*
5. Self-Control: Control your words , your thoughts and your action.
*
6. Faith: Have faith in yourself , in others and in God.
*
7. Discrimination: Discriminate between good and bad , real and unreal and vice and virtue.
*
8. Concentration: Concentrate whole-heartedly while studying , working or praying.
*
9. Truthfulness: Be truthful in words , thoughts and actions.
*
10. Hard work: Work to acquire knowledge , skills and wisdom.
*
11. Strengh: Be strong physically , mentally , intellectually , morally and spiritually.
*
12. Conviction: Have conviction in the power of goodness , purity and honesty.
*
13. Devotion: Have devotion for duty , scriptures , holy people and God.
*
14. Habits: Cultivate regular habits of prayer , meditation and reading inspiring and strengthening literature.
*
15. Same Sightedness: Feel the presence of the divine in all beings and treat them with the same standard as you treat your self.
*
16. Firm Determination: Have firm determination and strong will-power to cultivate good habits in order to achieve permanent happiness peace , sucess and fulfilment in life.
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Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.
With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.
Laughter is good for your health
* Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
* Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
* Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
* Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.
The Benefits of Laughter
Physical Health Benefits:
* Boosts immunity
* Lowers stress hormones
* Decreases pain
* Relaxes your muscles
* Prevents heart disease
Mental Health Benefits:
* Adds joy and zest to life
* Eases anxiety and fear
* Relieves stress
* Improves mood
* Enhances resilience
Social Benefits:
* Strengthens relationships
* Attracts others to us
* Enhances teamwork
* Helps defuse conflict
* Promotes group bonding
Laughter and humor help you stay emotionally healthy
Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and loss.
More than just a respite from sadness and pain, laughter gives you the courage and strength to find new sources of meaning and hope. Even in the most difficult of times, a laugh–or even simply a smile–can go a long way toward making you feel better. And laughter really is contagious—just hearing laughter primes your brain and readies you to smile and join in on the fun.
The link between laughter and mental health
The link between laughter and mental health
* Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing.
* Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more.
* Humor shifts perspective, allowing you to see situations in a more realistic, less threatening light. A humorous perspective creates psychological distance, which can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed.
The social benefits of humor and laughter
Humor and playful communication strengthen our relationships by triggering positive feelings and fostering emotional connection. When we laugh with one another, a positive bond is created. This bond acts as a strong buffer against stress, disagreements, and disappointment.
Laughing with others is more powerful than laughing alone
Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.
Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:
* Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
* Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
* Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
* Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface.
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Nutrition as it applies to our daily lives means that we take in what we need to maintain our body’s healthy state. Nutrition has become an important word thanks to the involvement of the USDA in our daily food requirements, and the FDA’s involvement in determining what is and is not dangerous for us to consume.
But what is our responsibility in the nutrition game? Do we understand what our nutritional requirements are, how to fulfill those requirements, and how to look for real nutritional value in our foods?
I’m not sure that nutrition has been successfully addressed in its own right. We hear nutrition in relation to our vitamin intake, our fortified cereals and milk, and in the context that we need “nutritional value” from our food choices. But what really is nutrition when applied to our daily bodily functions?
Today, we must determine how much nourishment we need, how much physical exercise we need, and how best to accomplish those ends. Calorie needs, nutritional needs, physical needs, and education about those needs now is information we should all understand, at least as it applies to our individual self.
If you will visit your local doctor, library, or fitness center, there is massive amounts of information available to help educate and to help you make good health choices, no matter what the age group.
Nutrition
Nutrition refers to the nurturing of our body, in our ability to keep it healthy and functioning as it is supposed to do. Our ability to provide the body with all it’s necessary food, vitamins, and minerals so that we continue to thrive in our daily life processes.
How do we determine that we are providing the essential nutritional needs? That knowledge comes by educating ourselves about what our individual needs are, the needs of our family, and then taking that knowledge and applying it to the foods we buy, that we prepare, and that our families consume.
Quite often, our vitamin and mineral needs outweigh our caloric needs. In those instances, we turn to manufactured vitamins and minerals to fill the gap. This is a part of our nutritional needs, also.
Nutrition is one of the most complex areas to gain useful knowledge about, because there are so many components, and because each person has their own individual needs.
Women needs differ from those of men, and older women’s needs differ from those of a young girl. As we age, our needs constantly change; therefore continual education about nutrition is a fact of life. The nutritional needs of a cardiac patient are different than those of a healthy, middle-aged hiker.
Can you see the complexity of the situation now? What we really need is to develop a scale that determines the nutritional needs of our bodies on a cellular level, so that as we age, as our physical condition changes, or our health changes, we can recalculate our needs, based on cellular changes and content in our body.
Individuality is the key to understanding each person’s nutritional needs, and then working to educate us is the key to fulfilling those nutritional needs. Good nutrition should be the ultimate goal of every person alive.
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