Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
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To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
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The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
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In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
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All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

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Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
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Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works.
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If at first you don't succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
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You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
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Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
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42.7% of all statistics are made on the spot.
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If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
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If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
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You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
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After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
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The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
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Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker