Jokes n Talks

3 Easy Ways to Die :
Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early..
Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.


1.. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman..
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC




6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants
are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are
missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE
someone for their MISTAKE..
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness
Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE
PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake