Jokes n Talks

Six answers given by a GIRL when she is proposed…


1 Nahi (SORRY)

2 Mujhe waqt chahiye (I NEED MORE TIME)

3 I have always seen you as a friend

4 I already have a boy friend

5 We should concentrate on studies

6 Tum abhi tak mujhe jante kahan ho? Yeh infatuation hai. (I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY KNOW ME. IT IS JUST AN INFATUATION.)



Six answers given by a BOY when he is proposed…

1 Yes

2 Yes

3 Yes

4 Yes

5 Yes

6 Yes

This proves that guys are better humans than girls and they believe more in spreading love.

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Click on the link to see the end of internet...

A man checked into a hotel.There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:



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To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 28 July 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in.. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

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A grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names.

First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.

My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan ,
If I can, If I can, If I can.

"Very good", the teacher said to Dan. She then asked Sally that it was now her turn.

My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can, if I can.

"That is good Sally," the teacher said. "But maybe one day you will change your mind."

Next up was Glenn. He was the naughty one in the class . Here is his rhyme:

My name is Glenn,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan ,
I'm gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can, I can, I can.

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Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Humans that don't enjoy = Donkey that works..
_____________________________________________

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkey + earn money
Men - earn money = Donkey
In other words,
Men who don't earn money = Donkey
_____________________________________________

Equation 3

Women= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkey + spend
Women - spend = Donkey
In other words,
Women who don't spend = Donkey
_____________________________________________

To Conclude,
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men who don't earn money = Women who don't spend
So, Men earn money not to let women become donkey!
And women spend not to let men become donkey!
So, We have,
Men + Women = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
SO ENJOY, EARN AND SPEND!

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A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.



Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sunita came! To Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read


Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...... .....especially if she is Indian !

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There was once a man who was very rich and very miserly at the same time. The villagers disliked him intensely. One day he said to them, "Either you're jealous of me or you don't understand my love of money-God alone knows. But you dislike me; that much I know. When I die, I won't take anything with me. I will leave it all for others. I will make a will, and I will give everything to charity. Then everyone will be happy."



Even then people mocked and laughed at him. The rich man said to them, "What is the matter with you? Can't you wait a few years to see my money go to charity?"



The villagers didn't believe him. He said, "Do you think I'm immortal? I'll die like everyone else, and then my money will go to charities." He couldn't understand why they didn't believe him.


One day he went for a walk. All of a sudden it started raining heavily, so he took shelter under a tree. Under this tree he saw a pig and a cow. The pig and the cow entered into conversation, and the man overheard what they were saying.



The pig said to the cow, "How is it that everybody appreciates you and nobody appreciates me? When I die, I provide people with bacon, ham and sausage. People can also use my bristles. I give three or four things, whereas you give only one thing: milk. Why do people appreciate you all the time and not me?"



The cow said to the pig, "Look, I give them milk while I'm alive. They see that I am generous with what I have. But you don't give them anything while you're alive. Only after you're dead do you give ham, bacon and so forth. People don't believe in the future; they believe in the present. If you give while you are alive, people will appreciate you. It is quite simple."



From that moment on, the rich man gave all he had to the poor.


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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

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Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time !

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever


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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.





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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.


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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents


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Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."


"But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."


The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."


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Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."


"Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."


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Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "


The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."


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Husband & Wife - Why?

" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.


" Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."


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Husband & Wife - Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.


Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."


"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"


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Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband

One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"


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Husband & Wife - Love To Do

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said,


"Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"


"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."


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Husband & Wife - No Answer Back

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."


One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.


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Husband & Wife - Come Home Late

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.


"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.


"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."


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Husband & Wife - Problem Father

"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied,

"I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet


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3 Easy Ways to Die :
Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early..
Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.


1.. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman..
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC




6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants
are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are
missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE
someone for their MISTAKE..
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness
Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE
PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake

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Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.



Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

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A man was praying to god.


He said, "God?"


God responded, "Yes?"


And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"




"Go right ahead", God said.




"God, what is a million years to you?"


God said, "A million years to me is only a second."


The man wondered.


Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"


God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."


So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"


And God cheerfully said,


"Sure!....... just a second."

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Regular Health Mistakes

All of us make little health mistakes that cause damage to our bodies in the long run - simply because we are unaware we are doing something wrong. Here are some of the most common mistakes made by many of us.


Crossing our Legs

Do you cross your legs at your knees when sitting? Although we may believe that this is the lady-like elegant way to sit, sitting this way cuts down circulation to your legs. If you don't want varicose veins to mar the beauty of your legs and compromise your health, uncross your legs every time you realize you have one knee on top of the other. The best way to sit is to simply place both legs together on the floor, balancing your weight equally. If you feel like changing position, instead of crossing your legs, simply move both legs together to one side. As an alternative, you could also consider crossing your legs loosely at the ankles. This is a classically elegant way to sit, and is far better for your legs and your health than sitting with your legs crossed at your knees.

Not changing our Toothbrush

How often do you change your toothbrush? Most of us wait until most of the bristles have either fallen off, or are in such bad shape that we'd be embarrassed to pull out our brush in public. However, since not many of us need to pull out our brush in public, we carry on with our frayed one until we lose it. Replace your toothbrush often. Damaged bristles can harm the enamel, and don't massage your gums well. If you find brushing your teeth a pain like I do, but know you must do it, you might as well be doing it right. Imagine going through the annoyance of brushing your teeth twice a day only to find out that you're damaging your enamel every time you clean your teeth. Also, use a brush with soft bristles unless your dentist has advised otherwise.


Eating out often

There are oils that are high in cholesterol, and oils that cause little harm and are better for your heart. However, no matter how light the oil is, it is never a good idea to eat too much of it. Avoid fried foods. Remember that in all probability your favorite Indian food restaurant throws a huge, HUGE chunk of butter in a tiny bowl of dal. Rita, who worked in the kitchen of a 5 star hotel, was shocked when she saw the cook chop a 500gm butter slab in half, and throw half into a Paneer Makhani dish. No wonder the customers left licking their fingers. And no wonder they felt so stuffed and heavy afterwards. Limit outdoor eating unless you know that you"re getting served light and healthy food.


Skipping Breakfast

Never, ever skip breakfast. Remember, when you wake up in the morning it's been around 10-12 hours since your last meal. Your body needs food now, more than at any other time. Eat a heavy breakfast. You will then be busy through the day, and the calories will get expended quickly. If you are trying to diet, eat a light dinner. Here are some more common health mistakes we make. Being informed and making a few changes can help make us feel a whole lot better.


High Heels

High heels sure look great, but they're murder for your back. This however doesn't mean you should steer clear of stilettos. Wear them, but not when you know you will be walking around a lot. Wear them when going out for lunch or dinner - when the only walking you will be doing is to your car, to the table, and back. Avoid high heels when you are going somewhere on foot. If you are constantly tempted to wear your heels, take a good look at your flats. Is there something about them you dislike? Invest in a new pair of beautiful flats or shoes with a low heel. Buy something you love, that you will enjoy wearing. If possible, get a matching bag. You will then enjoy your flats as much as you do your heels.


Sleeping on a Soft Bed

You don't have to sleep on the floor be kind to your back, but do make sure you have a firm mattress. Although a mattress on springs is soft and lovely to sink into, it's bad for your back. If you already have an old bed with springs, you don't need to invest in a new one - simply get a thick wooden plank put over the springs, and place the mattress on the plank. Similarly, if your mattress is old and lumpy, throw it out and get a new one. Your neck and your back will thank you. The same rule applies to sofas. If you will be spending hours on a sofa, get a firm yet comfortable one. Sofas you completely sink into are not the best idea.


Pillows

No matter how comfortable sleeping with ten cushions is, have pity on your neck and resist. Sleep with one pillow, and make sure it is not too thick. If your pillow gets lumpy, discard it and go for a new one. Get a thin pillow if you sleep on your stomach, and something a little thicker if you sleep on your back, to give your neck adequate support.


Not Exercising

So all of us know we should exercise more, but many of us don't. This is a health mistake we consciously make! And why is that? Simply because we refuse to admit the damage we are causing to our bodies by not working out.. A number of people only start working out once they've experienced a warning signal. Don't wait for a heart attack to strike before you decide to opt for a lifestyle change. Make the change now. You don't need to train for the marathon to be in top shape. Half an hour of brisk walking three to four times a week will make a world of difference to your health. You could then increase this to forty minutes, four times a week - and you're all set. If you haven't exercised for a week, you're making a mistake.


Not Exercising

So all of us know we should exercise more, but many of us don't. This is a health mistake we consciously make! And why is that? Simply because we refuse to admit the damage we are causing to our bodies by not working out.. A number of people only start working out once they've experienced a warning signal. Don't wait for a heart attack to strike before you decide to opt for a lifestyle change. Make the change now. You don't need to train for the marathon to be in top shape. Half an hour of brisk walking three to four times a week will make a world of difference to your health. You could then increase this to forty minutes, four times a week - and you're all set. If you haven't exercised for a week, you're making a mistake.



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School
A place where Parents pay and children play

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece



Dictionary
A place where success comes before work

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Father
A banker provided by nature

Criminal
A person no different from the rest
...except that he/she got caught

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after

DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise
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1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!


2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.


3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.


4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.


5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People


6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?


7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.


8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"


9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.


10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES


11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.


12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?


"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"


13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.


14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.


15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue


16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.


17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
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According to studies, the first letter of your first name reveals your sexual identity ...
What do you think?


-A-
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it's action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.


-B-
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.


-C-
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You must be able to talk to your sex partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.


-D-
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open.


-E-
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don't have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good look.)


-F-
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal.. You are sensuous, sexual,and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic lve scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.


-G-
You are crap in bed!
( Remember.... .I didn't write this!!!! LOLOL)


-H-
You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.


-I-
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated. .. Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual expression.. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.


-J-
You are totally simply marvelous!


-K-
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.


-L-
You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can't help falling in love. You really enjoy stimulating yourself, though you are fairly new to it. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You neither tell others of this secret life nor of your sexual fantasies.


-M-
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and also enjoy mothering your mate.


-N-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.


-O-
You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity and diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.


-P-
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; A good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.


-Q-
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.


-R-
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not brag, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.


-S-
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.


-T-
You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize, but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy, and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, oftentimes all in your own head.


-U-
You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant ratification. You are willing to put your partner's pleasures above your own.


-V-
You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills, and suspense. The gay scene turns you on, even though you yourself may not be a participant.


-W-
You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic, and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.


-X-
You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.


-Y-
You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forgot the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an pen, stimulating, romantic

Read more...

Some of these words of wisdom must have reached you earlier.Others find their way now. Use them wisely to enhance your worldly experience!

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."


The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

Read more...

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.


D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.



N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.


Read more...

The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip.


The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets,weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver.

She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck.


He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver!" the passenger screamed,"Are you trying to get us both killed?"


"Relax,lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes."

Read more...

Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

Read more...

Be Positive.... ...

A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his Questions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed.

The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'.

'Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.

Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'

Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy.: Shake hands

Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief

Read more...

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,
Only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with,
Never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.


4 . It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5 . It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6 . Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.



7 . Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you,
It probably hurts the person too.

9 . A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

10 . The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11 . Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Read more...

A smile is the universal welcome.
Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile.
At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.
Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
Carry laughter with you wherever you go.
Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.
Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day.
Everyone smiles in the same language.
Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough.
If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.
If you don't start out the day with a smile, it's not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.
If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile.
If you smile at someone, they might smile back.
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the poser to choose either.
It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart.
It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.
It was not a laugh but merely a loud smile.
Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.
Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Sleep, we all love it , especially when you wake up from a great night's sleep. In the past, sleep was often ignored by doctors and surrounded by myths, but now we are beginning to understand the importance of sleep to overall health and well-being. In fact, when people get less than 6 or 7 hours of sleep each night, their risk for developing diseases begins to increase...

Smile and laughter quotes will show how smiles and laughter can make your days sparkle with happiness.
Laughter, some said it's the best medicine in the world.
So start smiling and laughing as much as you can. Have a hearty laugh over every amusing situation. Laugh even at yourself and smile at the simplest pleasures in your life.
With smiles and laughter, your days will become lighter, more joyous and more bearable even on those hay-wired days. Your smiling face looks much more appealing and beautiful too.
Give away your smiles freely and in abundance. Spread your laughter around as it's contagious.

Enjoy these smile and laughter quotes!


A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile.
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book.
A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.
A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.
A laugh is a smile that bursts.
A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.
A smile appeared upon her face as if she'd taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.
A smile confuses an approaching frown.
A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.
A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home.

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
Laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth."
I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.
Mirth is God's medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
Peace begins with a smile.
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.
Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.
Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered - and I still do - which is more important.
Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.
She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.
Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over.
So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.
Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
That is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.�
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.
There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.
Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
You're never fully dressed without a smile.

Read more...

Sleep, we all love it , especially when you wake up from a great night's sleep. In the past, sleep was often ignored by doctors and surrounded by myths, but now we are beginning to understand the importance of sleep to overall health and well-being. In fact, when people get less than 6 or 7 hours of sleep each night, their risk for developing diseases begins to increase...

1. Sleep Keeps Your Heart Healthy:
Heart attacks and strokes are more common during the early morning hours. This fact may be explained by the way sleep interacts with the blood vessels. Lack of sleep has been associated with worsening of blood pressure and cholesterol, all risk factors for heart disease and stroke. Your heart will be healthier if you get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night.

2. Sleep May Prevent Cancer:
People working the late shift have a higher risk for breast and colon cancer. Researchers believe this link is caused by differing levels of melatonin in people who are exposed to light at night. Light exposure reduces the level of melatonin, a hormone that both makes us sleepy and is thought to protect against cancer. Melatonin appears to suppress the growth of tumors. Be sure that your bedroom is dark to help your body produce the melatonin it needs.

3. Sleep Reduces Stress:
When your body is sleep deficient, it goes into a state of stress. The body's functions are put on high alert which causes an increase in blood pressure and a production of stress hormones. Higher blood pressure increases your risk for heart attacks and strokes. The stress hormones also, unfortunately, make it harder for you to sleep. Learn relaxation techniques to counter the effects of stress. There are also stress reduction techniques for sleep.

4. Sleep Reduces Inflammation:
The increase in stress hormones raises the level of inflammation in your body, also creating more risk for heart-related conditions, as well as cancer and diabetes. Inflammation is thought to one of the causes of the deterioration of your body as you age.

5. Sleep Makes You More Alert:
Of course, a good night's sleep makes you feel energized and alert the next day. Being engaged and active not only feels great, it increases your chances for another good night's sleep. When you wake up feeling refreshed, use that energy to get out into the daylight, do active things, and be engaged in your world. You'll sleep better the next night and increase your daily energy level.

6. Sleep Bolsters Your Memory:
Researchers do not fully understand why we sleep and dream, but a process called memory consolidation occurs during sleep. While your body may be resting, your brain is busy processing your day, making connections between events, sensory input, feelings and memories. Your dreams and deep sleep are an important time for your brain to make memories and links. Getting more quality sleep will help you remember and process things better.

7. Sleep May Help You Lose Weight:
Researchers have also found that people who sleep less than seven hours per night are more likely to be overweight or obese. It is thought that the lack of sleep impacts the balance of hormones in the body that affect appetite. The hormones ghrelin and leptin, important for the regulation of appetite, have been found to be disrupted by lack of sleep. So if you are interested in controlling or losing weight, don't forget to pay attention to getting a good night's sleep.

8. Naps Make You Smarter:
Napping during the day is not only an effective and refreshing alternative to caffeine, it can also protect your health and make you more productive. A study of 24,000 Greek adults showed that people who napped several times a week had a lower risk for dying from heart disease. People who nap at work have much lower levels of stress. Napping also improves memory, cognitive function and mood.

9. Sleep May Reduce Your Risk for Depression:
Sleep impacts many of the chemicals in your body, including serotonin. People with a deficiency in serotonin are more likely to suffer from depression. You can help to prevent depression by making sure you are getting the right amount of sleep, between 7 and 9 hours each night.

10. Sleep Helps the Body Make Repairs:
Sleep is a time for your body to repair damage caused by stress, ultraviolet rays and other harmful exposures. Your cells produce more protein while you are sleeping. These protein molecules form the building blocks for cells, allowing them to repair damage.

Here are 9 powerful reasons to drink water:


1. Weight loss: Water is one of the best tools for weight loss, first of all because it often replaces high-calorie drinks like soda and juice and alcohol with a drink that doesn't have any calories. But it's also a great appetite suppressant, and often when we think we're hungry, we're actually just thirsty. Water has no fat, no calories, no carbs, no sugar. Drink plenty to help your weight-loss regimen.

2. Heart healthy: Drinking a good amount of water could lower your risks of a heart attack. A six-year study published in the May 1, 2002 American Journal of Epidemiology found that those who drink more than 5 glasses of water a day were 41% less likely to die from a heart attack during the study period than those who drank less than two glasses.

3. Energy: Being dehydrated can sap your energy and make you feel tired,even mild dehydration of as little as 1 or 2 percent of your body weight. If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated and this can lead to fatigue, muscle weakness, dizziness and other symptoms.

4. Headache cure: Another symptom of dehydration is headaches. In fact, often when we have headaches it's simply a matter of not drinking enough water. There are lots of other causes of headaches of course, but dehydration is a common one.

5. Healthy skin: Drinking water can clear up your skin and people often report a healthy glow after drinking water. It won't happen overnight, of course, but just a week of drinking a healthy amount of water can have good effects on your skin.

6. Digestive problems: Our digestive systems need a good amount of water to digest food properly. Often water can help cure stomach acid problems, and water along with fiber can cure constipation (often a result of dehydration).

7. Cleansing: Water is used by the body to help flush out toxins and waste products from the body.

8. Cancer risk: Related to the digestive system item above, drinking a healthy amount of water has also been found to reduce the risk of colon cancer by 45%. Drinking lots of water can also reduce the risk of bladder cancer by 50% and potentially reduce the risk of breast cancer.

9. Better exercise: Being dehydrated can severely hamper your athletic activities, slowing you down and making it harder to lift weights. Exercise requires additional water, so be sure to hydrate before, during and after exercise.

Read more...

The Most Selfish " 1 " letter word.

" I " ---> Avoid It

The Most Satisfying " 2 " letter words.

" We " ---> Use It..

The Most Poisonous " 3 " letter word.

" Ego" ---> Kill It..

The Most Used " 4 " letter word.

" LOVE " --> Value It.

The Pleasing " 5 " letter words.

" SMILE " --> Keep It.

The Fastest Spreading " 6 " letter word.

" RUMOUR " --> Ignore it..

The Hardest working " 7 " Letter Word.

"SUCCESS " --> Achieve it..

The Most enviable " 8 " letter word.

" JEALOUSY " --> Distance It..

The Most Powerful " 9 " word letter word..

" KNOWLEDGE " --> Acquire It.

The Most essential " 10 " letter word

" CONFIDENCE " -- > "Trust It.

Read more...

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~

Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy:Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy :No, mine is undying love.
~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband:Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :Yes and no.
~~~~~~~
Read more...

People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavour to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.

Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature. People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfilment in life.

Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.....
People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.

People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.

People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.

People who are truly in love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.

People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.

People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.

People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.

Remember there is no failure in love, because once you tell somebody who you love, that you love him/her, then you have already succeeded in love.
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It's not about how much money you make, and it's not about who your daddy is. And no, it's definitely not about whether you look like Tom Cruise or his wife Katie Holmes ... What it is about is these simple things, things that maybe even a person like Tom Cruise does not have. And note, we are not necessarily talking about sexual (male attract female) things here.

We're talking about being attractive in general, whether it's on a job interview or just gaining the respect of your colleagues . . .

* Ask questions as long as you do not...understand something. In other words, be humble.

* GREAT POSTURE.Your posture says a lot about you.

Talking physically, it is one of the most important physical characteristics you need!

* WALK LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Walk with an attitude. Walk like you know where you're going, and do so with good posture.

* STAY BUSY. Do you really know the power of this? It's true. ALWAYS be busy with something, even if for some reason you have to make something up. Read more...

1. Find out the difference of opinion and views regarding ‘love and relation’ between you and your partner.

2. Try to adopt your partner’s views to some degree while in the same time let him/her know it – so that he/she inspires to do the same.

3. Give your partner enough freedom, ‘Letting go is the first step to hold on’.

4. Let go your possessiveness, jealousy, doubts and keep faith.

5. Always keep in mind, ‘Love is not about winning or losing.’ If you can believe in this message then you can love your Ms. Right with full faith and trust. If you are betrayed, it may hurt you but you are not the loser here. The loser is.......who betrayed you, no matter what the existing view in the society has to tell about it.

6. Be a good person. At least try to be clear to yourself.

7. Love is not just a thing that comes built in with you (Says Erich Fromm in his book ‘The art of Loving’); so you need some study.

8. Words are evils and words are angels. In the heated moment, try to keep yourself composed as much as you can.

9. Mistakes happen! No one is perfect! But every one has some good sides and some bad sides! Even you have some bad sides. Once you give your heart to someone, You need to compromise. Read more...

1. Make sure you have 3 accounts may it be in a bank or in your mind. a. A daily account. b. An account for tomorrow. c. An account for emergencies.

You need to make sure that certain portion of your income are available for all of these three accounts (no matter how small or big the amount is). But you need to make sure your money is there for each account.
2. Do not take loan on interest.
3. Do not buy things that you cannot afford. Read more...

If you want to succeed in this life and "get rich" quickly, the very first thing you need are some motivational factors.

* DEFINE your goals. What are some of your dreams? Perhaps you have to many things to do of your own and others , Take a moment and write down a list of the things you want out of this life.

* DEFINE your plan . Plan your work and work your plan.

* Don't Kill your valuable times by talking with street side guy's.

Get out there. Do the homework. Remember: Plan your work.

* BE OPEN TO NEW IDEAS! You have to keep your mind free of those things which will bring you down.

* START YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Find your own way! Find out what it is that you are good at and do that thing! Success and happiness can go hand in hand.

* STAY FOCUSED! Realize that the hand you may be holding, may be the hand that holds you down! Remember you have strengths and abilities find out what they are.
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"He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything."
1. Move More
Make it a daily challenge to find ways to move your body. Climb stairs if given a choice between that and escalators or elevators. Walk your dog; chase your kids; toss balls with friends, mow the lawn. Anything that moves your limbs is not only a fitness tool, it's a stress buster. Think 'move' in small increments of time. It doesn't have to be an hour in the gym or a 45-minute aerobic dance class or tai chi or kickboxing. But that's great when you're up to it. Meanwhile, move more. Thought for the day: Cha, Cha, Cha…. Then do it!

2. Cut Fat
Avoid the obvious such as fried foods, burgers and other fatty meats (i.e. pork, bacon, ham, salami, ribs and sausage). Dairy products such as cheese, cottage cheese, milk and cream should be eaten in low fat versions. Nuts and sandwich meats, mayonnaise, margarine, butter and sauces should be eaten in limited amounts. Most are available in lower fat versions such as substitute butter, fat free cheeses and mayonnaise. Thought for the day: Lean, mean, fat-burning machine…. Then be one!

3. Quit Smoking
The jury is definitely in on this verdict. Ever since 1960 when the Surgeon General announced that smoking was harmful to your health, Americans have been reducing their use of tobacco products that kill. Just recently, we've seen a surge in smoking in adolescents and teens. Could it be the Hollywood influence? It seems the stars in every movie of late smoke cigarettes. Beware. Warn your children of the false romance or 'tough guy' stance of Hollywood smokers. Thought for the day: Give up just one cigarette…. the next one.


4. Reduce Stress
Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

5. Protect Yourself from Pollution
If you can't live in a smog-free environment, at least avoid smoke-filled rooms, high traffic areas, breathing in highway fumes and exercising near busy thoroughfares. Exercise outside when the smog rating is low. Exercise indoors in air conditioning when air quality is good. Plant lots of shrubbery in your yard. It's a good pollution and dirt from the street deterrent. Thought for the day: 'Smoke gets in your eyes'…and your mouth, and your nose and your lungs as do pollutants….hum the tune daily.

6. Wear Your Seat Belt
Statistics show that seat belts add to longevity and help alleviate potential injuries in car crashes. Thought for the day: Buckle down and buckle up.

7. Floss Your Teeth
Recent studies make a direct connection between longevity and teeth flossing. Nobody knows exactly why. Perhaps it's because people who floss tend to be more health conscious than people who don't? Thought for the day: Floss and be your body's boss.

8. Avoid Excessive Drinking
While recent studies show a glass of wine or one drink a day (two for men) can help protect against heart disease, more than that can cause other health problems such as liver and kidney disease and cancer. Thought for the day: A jug of wine should last a long time.

9. Keep a Positive Mental Outlook
There's a definitive connection between living well and healthfully and having a cheerful outlook on life. Thought for the day: You can't be unhappy when you're smiling or singing.

10. Choose Your Parents Well
The link between genetics and health is a powerful one. But just because one or both of your parents died young in ill health doesn't mean you cannot counteract the genetic pool handed you. Thought for the day: Follow these basic tips for healthy living and you can better control your own destiny.


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1. Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked:

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others’ affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

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2. Forgive And Forget:

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive,20Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

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3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourse lf in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

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4. Do Not Be Jealous:

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody’s life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

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5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

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6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

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7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

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8. Meditate Regularly:

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

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9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:

An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God’s name.

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10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:

Do not waste time in protracted wondering ” Should I or shouldn’t I?” Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?



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