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INTERESTING DEFINITIONS

7:51 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

School:

A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
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Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
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Nurse:

A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.
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Love Affairs:

Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.
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Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
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Divorce:

Future tense of Marriage.
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Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
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Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
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Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Dictionary:

A place where success comes before work.
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Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
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Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read.
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Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Etc.:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
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Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.
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Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.
*********

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
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Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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Father:

A banker provided by nature.
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Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
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Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
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Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
********* Read more...

Dying to LIVE

8:40 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

Its for everyone....
First i was dying to finish my high school and start college,
then was dying to finish college and start working,
Then dying to marry and have children,
then i was dying for my children to grow old enough to stand on their own feet,
then i was dying to retire.
now i'm dying.
And suddenly i realized;
"i forgot to live"

Please don't let this happen to you..

Appreciate your current Situation and enjoy each day..live the moment...
Read more...

The little boy

8:39 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

A 10 year old boy went to an ice-cream shop & asked: "How much a cone costs?" 
Waiter said: "Rs. 15" The boy started counting how much he had in his purse. 

Then he asked how much a small cup cost? 

Waiter said: Rs. 12 The boy asked for a small cup. 

He had it, paid bill & left. 

When the waiter came to pick the empty cup, he was touched. 

The boy had left Rs. 3 coins as tip for him. 

MORAL: Try giving something to everyone out of whatever little you have.
Read more...

Bottom up!

8:36 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

he: Yesss! It! Finally, I get it! " 
She: Will u like me to go? " 
He: NO! I thought not to! " 
she: love me? " 
He: Of course! " 
She: did you ever like to trick me? " 
He: No! Why u ask? " 
She: "Would you like to kiss me?" 
he: "yes !" 
She: "Would you like to poke me?" 
he: No chance! I am a man! " 
She: "Can i believe you?" 

And now after the wedding, you can read the bottom up! 
 Read more...

♥ LoVe LeTTeR ♥

8:35 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy, trying to find the right outfit to wear. When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were too busy. At one point you had to wait, fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me, but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip instead. I watched patiently all day long. With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me.
I noticed that before lunch you looked around, may be you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn't bow your head. You glanced three or four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn't. That's okay. There is still more time left, and I hope that you will talk to me yet. You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done, you turned on the TV. I don't know if you like TV or not, just about anything goes there and you spend lot of time each day in front of it not thinking about anything, just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal, but again you didn't talk to me.
Bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said good night to your family you popped into bed and fell asleep in no time. That's okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you. I've got patience, more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well.
I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sided conversation. Well, you are getting up once again. And once again I will wait, with nothing but love for you. Hoping that today you will give me some time. Have a nice day!

Your friend, ALLAH
Read more...

Why do we shout in anger??

8:33 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
Read more...

Give your hundred percent to everything

7:21 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

Image
A Small Story
A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.


Moral of the story: 
If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully Smile Read more...

Definitions of common Words!

7:20 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

Atom Bomb: An invention made to end all inventions.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Classic: A book which people praises, but do not read.

College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually looks forward to the trip.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Read more...

7 lies of success

7:18 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

1. It's necessary to understand everything to be able to use everything.

2. Whatever happens, take responsibility.

3. There is no such thing as failure.

4. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose, and it serves us.

5. People are your greatest resource.

6. Work is play.

&

7. There is no abiding success without commitment. Read more...

Dealing with insult

7:17 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »

The Buddha explained how to handle insult and maintain compassion.

One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake."

Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"

The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."

The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."

"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."

The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower."

The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me." Read more...

Disappointments

7:16 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

Rivers without water,
Clouds without moisture,
Taxation without representation,
Business without profit,
Roses without fragrance,
Honey without sweetness,
Life without hope

and above all

Homes Without Love.... Read more...

Muhammad Ali

7:07 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

ali3.gif

He who is not courageous enough to take risks, will accomplish nothing in life. 

Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong. 

We always feel bad that good things happen only to 'others', But we always forget that we r 'others' for someone else.

I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was. 

I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest. 

I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'' 

I never thought of losing, but now that it' s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life. 

I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. — New York Times (1962)

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. 

If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.   

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.   

It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe.   

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. —New York Times (1977)

It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. 

Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you. 

My toughest fight was with my first wife.   
ali7.jpg
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. 

Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even. 

Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths. 

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. —Time magazine (1978)

Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer.   

The man who has no imagination has no wings. 

There are no pleasures in a fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win. 

To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich. 

Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change. 
alifr.jpg
"I'm so mean I make medicine sick"
—promoting his "Rumble in the Jungle" bout with George Foreman in 1974

"I'm the best. I just haven't played yet."
—when asked about his golf game
Read more...

Quotez

6:50 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

#By the time u realise what your parents said was right..
U will have a kid who begins to think you are wrong..
-socrates

#Don't see back wen u r moving towards success...
Don't 4get 2 see back after reach'ng success
-Mike Tyson

#"Affection is Not Measured Wen Both Take Care of Each Other;

It is Measured Wen 1 Ignores & d Other Still Continues 2 Care."
- Shakespeare

#Smiles ARE LYK Band-Aids They ONLY COVER UP THE Pain But THEY DONT MAKE IT go-away!

#Always ask Almighty to give you what you deserve,not what you desire.Its because,your desires may be few but you do deserve a lot!!!

#Life is an ACti0n mOviE

#Show respect and earn respect
Read more...

Never forget...

6:49 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

3 things in life once gone never come back
Words
Opportunity
Time

3 things in life are never sure
Dreams
Success
Luck

3 things in life that makes you great person
Hard work
Sincerity
Confidence

3 things in life are most valuable
Life itself
Self respect
Friends

3 things in life must not be lost
Peace
Hope
Honesty
Read more...

100 Ways to Love Your Mate

6:47 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

1. Hug them.
2. Write a love note.
3. Call them at work just to say "Hi."
4. Give them a foot massage.
5. Tell them a joke.
6. Caress them with slow gentle strokes.
7. Go for a walk with them.
8. Send them a "happy gram."
9. Admit your mistakes.
10. Say: "I love you."
11. Indulge a whim.
12. Listen to them talk about an interest of theirs.
13. Be trustworthy.
14. Instead of complaining, tell them what you would prefer.
15. Look at them when you're in a discussion.
16. Send flowers.
17. Compliment something they did.
18. Offer to help.
19. Ask them to show you how to do something.
20. Call when you are going to be late.
21. Take them out to dinner.
22. Write them a poem about how special they are.
23. Cut out a cartoon they'll enjoy.
24. Ask them what they'd like sexually.
25. Go shopping together.
26. Take an afternoon drive.
27. Cuddle.
28. Put your arm around them in front of others.
29. Take them out on a surprise date.
30. Do something they want to do.
31. Listen.
32. Plan a candle light dinner.
33. Look at old photos together.
34. Serve them breakfast in bed.
35. Hold hands.
36. Share sexual fantasies.
37. Do a work project together.
38. Rub their back.
39. Take a shower together.
40. Carry their photo in your wallet.
41. Go away together for a weekend holiday.
42. Kiss them.
43. Smile more when you look at them.
44. Go for a bicycle ride together.
45. Surprise them with "special" attire.
46. Plan a picnic lunch.
47. Read something together about how to have a better relationship.
48. Repeat what they say before answering.
49. Say "Good morning" first.
50. Ask if they have a few minutes first before interrupting.
51. Send them a card.
52. Surprise them with a gift when it's a non-holiday.
53. Cook them a favorite meal.
54. Try a new restaurant.
55. Ask them how they feel.
56. Let them know when you are proud of them.
57. Ask for their opinion.
58. Turn on some romantic music.
59. Dedicate a song to them.
60. Send them a balloon bouquet.
61. Watch a sunset together.
62. Play a game together.
63. Have them teach you something they know.
64. Tell them they have the night off.
65. Go to a movie they select.
66. Ask them for a hug.
67. Wear some new cologne.
68. Take them to Bali.
69. Discuss future plans with them.
70. Ask if you can help when they look sad.
71. Ask them about their dreams.
72. Meet them for lunch.
73. Enlarge a scenic photo of a place you've shared.
74. Give them a gift certificate for their favorite store.
75. Tell them what you like about them.
76. Buy them a new perfume.
77. Take them to a scenic spot.
78. Send them a gourmet gift basket.
79. Send them a joke card.
80. Let them know when you've thought of them during the day.
81. Buy them a toy.
82. Compliment them to their friends.
83. Bring them a thirst quenching drink.
84. Tell them when they look attractive.
85. Send them a post card.
86. Invite them to a secret rendezvous.
87. Give them a massage.
88. Take a lesson with them.
89. Look at photos together of when you met.
90. Plan a vacation with them.
91. Listen openly to their opposing opinion.
92. Buy them a new piece of jewelry.
93. Watch a TV show they like with them
94. Write them a letter.
95. Listen to music with them, such as an old favorite.
96. Whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
97. Tell them what you like that they do.
98. Give a head massage.
99. Invite them to a concert.
100. Let them know you care.
Read more...

Principles of life

6:46 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »

* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.

* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.

* When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.

* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.

* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.

* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.

* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.

* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.

* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.

* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.

* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.

* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.

* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything

* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.

* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.

* Change your thoughts and you change your world.

* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.

* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.

* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.

* Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
Read more...

Pathan & girl friend

8:43 AM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

Pathan girl friend ko ghar Le gaya,

Sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,

Parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha : dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.


~~~~~~~~~

Larka : hum 25 bhean bhai hain.

Larki : kiya aap k ghar family planning wale nahi aate?

Larka : aaye tahe schol samjh k vapas chale gaye.
Read more...

Good-bye Daddy

8:42 AM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

A father put his three year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying
"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."


The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to
do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like 

this:
"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,
"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock.
He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, 

looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said “I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said "I don't want to talk about it; I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE.

He asked "What"??????

She said "This morning our neighbor James suddenly died."
Read more...

Urine Test !

8:40 AM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !
Read more...

Funny QA

11:36 AM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?

Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

-----------------------------

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
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Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
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Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!

Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
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Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.

Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
-----------------------------

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!

Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!
-----------------------------
Read more...

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ON THE CHESSBOARD OF LIFE, ALL MOVES R POSSIBLE, ITS NEVER CHECKMATE TILL U LIVE, SO NEVER QUIT... THERE IS ALWAYS POSSIBILITY TO WIN..!

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