Jokes n Talks

People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers: 

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... 
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here? 
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... 
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt? 
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again? 

3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask... 
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people. 
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you? 

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter... 
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good? 
Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it. 

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years. 
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. 
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... 
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well? 
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money. 

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... 
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping? 
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron. 

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... 
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut? 
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.

9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... 
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts? 
Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed. 

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke. 
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!